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pule

The Gospel according to the ANC

When Dina first heard the gospel, she gracefully accepted the good news and gave her heart to the ANC, she immersed herself in the teachings of revered struggle heroes such as Smuts Ngonyyama, whose renowned wisdom and holy writ included the immutable ‘ ‘I hadn’t joined the struggle in order to stay poor.’

Another prophet in the struggle, Gwede Mantashe, added the celebrated saying ‘“Capital is capital, it has no color. No black person buys into a company because he wants to do all sorts of good things for blacks. People want to go into business because they want to make money.”

It is well understood that in order to be saved, the brethren are not to question the ways or thoughts of the King.
Dina’s excitement grew steadily as her relationship with the infallible King deepened. King Zuma showers wealth and gifts upon his faithful elite. Dina came to learn of the great struggle and the forces of evil that enslave her people, that great Satan, the evil white settler and their devious ways. But the King promised to deliver the faithful from white tendencies, thus accountability, transparency, law and order or that which veers to imperialist thought, would be forever purged from the kingdom.

The King collects. This is the work of the Holy King.  More specifically he collects other peoples money, sparing his anointed from colonial influences. Creative ways to assume riches is strongly encouraged by the King. But alas, the kindness of the King is by no means extended to the majority. Only a few are chosen and Dina with giddy enthusiasm accepted her place among them.  Who can know the mind of such a King?  By his decree, the drudgery and sweat of faceless depositors that toil from dawn to dusk is assimilated into one stream of cash for collection. The stream never runs dry, because the workers keep working.

Her cup runneth over.

Let me introduce you to Dina Pule. Dina Pule is the essential kaffir. I Pronounce it with delightful joy, I affirm it proudly. Let us visit the moral codes of the greed infected kaffir, and become more acquainted with their visions of self enrichment. Dina Pule, and greed-mongering kaffirs like her, place their trust and confidence in a ANC chartered means of procurement.

This is just one of many, explored in brief.  Dina (Communications Minister) extracts 6 million Rand from various telecoms companies to sponsor some questionable event (ICT Indaba) to the accomplice’s company (Khemano),  her boyfriend, Phosane Mngqibisa just happens to own the company. She also dips into state coffers to fly her and comrade lover, Phosane, on fun filled trips around the world to heighten their romance. But sometimes they do get caught, and Dina staying true to her devotion to the gospel, lies under oath to a ethics committee regarding her relationship to fellow kaffir, Phosane. Dina is fined 1 months salary and parliamentary privileges suspended for two weeks.

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The meted  ‘punishment’ is a just a ANC  orchestrated display of window dressing. She remains an MP and her soft handling will be delightful news for MP’s to rehearse a similar scheme. Lets do some quick math 6 million – 1 month salary = 5 + million. That’s a worthwhile profit. But the story doesn’t even end there. Professor Ben Turok of the ethics committee had to hire a body guard after a contract was placed on his head. The assassination plot has been linked to none other than Dina Pule

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We cannot afford to banish the word kaffir from our lexicon while woman like Dina Pule walk free and plunge slippery fingers into ill bounties, to add fat to fat and filth to filth. Not while behind those ghoulish eyes lurks even a faint residue of gratification or conscious self vindication.  If we are doing our very best to intentionally violate the dignity of the subject in question, we do exceedingly well, because we expose the fallacy that dignity exists by default. If the word ‘dignity’ has any meaning whatsoever, if it is intelligible to man, then we can confidently deny its presence in Dina Pule. Moreover no other word encapsulates the very essence of Dina Pule, or captures with such elegant grace, a definition of her very core.

I thus announce a moratorium for the use of the word Kaffir. We need this word to be defended and unhinged from the backlash of the moral police.

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